“I ain’t running for office. I ain’t running for nothing.”

Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power.

I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.

I’m not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that’s what makes my comedy different.

Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.

I love who I am. I love what I’ve become.

When you’re offstage, that’s the footprint. That’s the man God’s gonna judge.

Fear is not one of my attributes.

The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.

I don’t need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don’t need any of that.

Sometimes when you lose you win, son. Failure is just life’s way of preparing you for success.

I have so much respect for what’s funny.

Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.

Black audiences are hard. They always think they’re better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.

My daughter was a beautiful child.

My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.

My comedy comes from pain. I can’t stand to see someone hurting.

I think that it’s important if you run for President that you have to make those important decisions. And your father, if he can help, probably, he helps just by being your father without getting intimately involved.

I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

The advice I have for beginners is the same philosophy that I have for runners of all levels of experience and ability — consistency, a sane approach, moderation and making your running an enjoyable, rather than dreaded, part of your life.

I worked out of desperation. I used to hit fast and run in hopes that people wouldn’t realize that I really couldn’t do anything.

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

I find that if I use my time well and take care of my mind/body when I’m outside of work, then I feel more supported throughout my day. So, instead of waking up and going straight for my cell phone or running to the gym.

Careful as they may be, developers of Eiffel libraries will always run into cases in which, after releasing a library class, they suddenly experience what in French is called esprit de l’escalier or wit of the staircase: a great thought which unfortunately is an afterthought.

The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back and run for office, that may be the one that comes back and haunts me.