The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
BEN ELTONMy parents were secular. I am an atheist.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
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The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
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I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it.
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
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I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
BEN ELTON