You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
BEN ELTONMy parents were secular. I am an atheist.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
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The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
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I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
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The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
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Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
BEN ELTON