My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
BEN ELTONI exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
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Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
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And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
BEN ELTON