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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.

Ben Elton

I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
BEN ELTON

Half Mother Race
I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
BEN ELTON

Dull People Project
I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
BEN ELTON

Celebration Losing World
The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
BEN ELTON

Lasts Opera Race
I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
BEN ELTON

Baseball Oasis Vote
I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
BEN ELTON

Exercise Hard Reason
I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running.
BEN ELTON

Mistake Risk Running
You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
BEN ELTON

Dream Gears Wake Up
No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
BEN ELTON

Natural People Waiting
I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
BEN ELTON

Difficult Morality Thinking
The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
BEN ELTON

Hippie Self Thinking
I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
BEN ELTON

Nice People Thinking
This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
BEN ELTON

Psychology Special Violence
My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
BEN ELTON

Advice Looks Novel
The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
BEN ELTON

Century Over Worst
I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
BEN ELTON

Facts Giving Kind

I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.

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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.

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Popular Authors

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