You think I look like a teletubby?
BEN ELTONYou didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running.
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There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do.
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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Artists don’t create society, they reflect it
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
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I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
BEN ELTON