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Grit and self-control are related, but they’re not the same thing.

Angela Duckworth

Negative feelings are typical of learning, and you shouldn’t feel like you’re stupid when you’re frustrated doing something. You might say to yourself, ‘I can’t do this,’ but you should say, ‘That’s great.’ That means you really have the potential to learn something there.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Facial Feel Feeling Frustrate Learn Like Negative Something Stupid Typical
When people tell me I can’t do something, I have a visceral reflex to say, ‘Yes, I can.’
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Can People Reflex Say Something Tell Visceral
I know that instructional time is a zero-sum game, but if we want kids to do well academically, it’s hard to imagine that happening if they don’t have some control over their attention.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Academically Game Instructional Kid Know Sum Time Well Zero
Some people prefer a world where we’re all equally talented in everything. Whether you prefer that world or not, I don’t think that world exists.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Everything People Prefer Some Talent Wally World
I believe kids should choose what they want to do, because it’s their life, but they have to choose something, and they can’t quit in the middle unless there’s a really good reason.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Believe Choose Do Kid Life Middle Quit Something To Unless Want
You know, the things that I want my own daughters to develop – the idea that we’re going to get there through rewards and punishments seems completely at odds with the idea of character itself.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Character Daughter Develop Idea Itself Punishment Reward Seem Thing
Maybe. But the reality is that our early interests are fragile, vaguely defined, and in need of energetic, years-long cultivation and refinement.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Cultivation Define Early Energetic Interest Maybe Need Refinement Vaguely
Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Grit Life Living Marathon Spirit
I would be surprised if my girls ended up as women without grit. I really would.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Ended Girl Really Surprise Women Would
I will say that if my wildest dreams come true, I will, like, wake up one day, and I will be Carol Dweck, right? Because she is like everything I want to be.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Come Country Day Dream Everything Like One People Person True Want Wildest
The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Also Good Grit Most Parent Style Thing
We have found a direct correlation between grit and positive emotions, but the fact that I have no evidence that grit is bad for you doesn’t mean it’s not. It’s always a possibility that in the future researchers will discover a downside to grit.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Bad Between Correlation Direct Emotion Evidence Fact Found Grit Men Positive
I know a lot of CEOs who are looking for three- to four-year varsity athletes – not necessarily because these people are going to be doing pushups or spiking volleyballs in the workplace, but because they’re looking for that continuity, that person who was gritty about something.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Athlete CEO Four Know Look People Pushup So Spiking Three Varsity Volleyball Year
I don’t think that every child in America is going to necessarily aspire to, you know, a four-year degree from a liberal arts college or a certain kind of life. I think that people should learn to be excellent in the thing that they choose to do.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Aspire Country Every Go Know Necessarily Think
I’m not a policy oriented person. I’m constrained to what I study. But educational policy has not yet taken adequate note of the whole child. Kids are not just their IQ or standardized test scores. It matters whether or not they show up, how hard they work.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Adequate Child Constrained Education Orientated Ote Person Policy Study Taken Whole
Striving is exhausting. Sometimes I do say things like, ‘I wish I were not quite this driven to be excellent.’ It’s not a comfortable life. It’s not relaxed. I’m not relaxed as a person. I mean, I’m not unhappy. But… it’s the opposite of being comfortable.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Excellent Exhausting Life Quite Say Something Striving Thing Wish

Grit and self-control are related, but they’re not the same thing.

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Grit and self-control are related, but they’re not the same thing.

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