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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Andy Rooney

Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness Kill Old Oneself People Return Time World
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEY

Alone Happiness Smile Yourself
Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEY

Hate Last Luggage Oneself Yourself
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
ANDY ROONEY

Happiness Life Strike Yourself
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Mystery Pill Yourself
I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
ANDY ROONEY

Children Gift Learning Myself
Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
ANDY ROONEY

Behavior Civilization Confirm Natural
We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
ANDY ROONEY

Desire Fear Lonely Privacy
My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
ANDY ROONEY

Character Flaw Myself Serious
Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
ANDY ROONEY

Calm Comfortable Peace
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Book Cook Learning
Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
ANDY ROONEY

Bed Later Stay Worth
I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Learning Myself Word
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY

Big Bookstore Diet Eat Yourself
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
ANDY ROONEY

Better Truth World
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

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