Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
ANDY ROONEYChristians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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I’ve learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
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I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
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Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
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Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
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I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
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I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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I’ve learned That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
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I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
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It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.
ANDY ROONEY