Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date?
ALAN BENNETTf they’d been working with Alec Guinness, for instance, they wouldn’t have known they were born if they’d not towed the line!
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.
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I think perhaps that’s why I live in Ibiza, because the blue of the Mediterranean, you see, reminds me of the blue of the eyes of those Doncaster miners.
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But then books, as I’m sure you know, seldom prompt a course of action.
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
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If you find yourself born in Barnsley and then set your sights on being Virginia Woolf it is not going to be roses all the way.
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There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world.
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But most men regard their life as a poem that women threaten.
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Never read the Bible as if it means something. Or at any rate don’t try and mean it. Nor prayers.
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Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.
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God doesn’t do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, “Can I be excused the Crucifixion?” No!
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You have the knowledge but that does not entitle you to be superior. Knowledge makes you the servant not the master.
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I don’t talk very well. With writing, you’ve time to get it right. Also I’ve found the more I talk the less I write, and if I didn’t write no one would want me to talk anyway.
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I’m for the freedom of expression, given that it will be under strict control.
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To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.
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Clichés can be quite fun. That’s how they got to be clichés.
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