Remember. You are a physician. You are not a policeman nor are you a minister of religion.
ALAN BENNETTf they’d been working with Alec Guinness, for instance, they wouldn’t have known they were born if they’d not towed the line!
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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Far from wanting time to pass, one just wishes one had more of it. If one wanted to pass the time one could go to New Zealand.
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Nor did they seem to think one had done them a kindness by reading their writings. Rather they had done one the kindness by writing them.
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I was an only child. I lost both my parents. By the time I was twenty I was bald. I’m homosexual.
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The days weren’t long enough for the reading she wanted to do.
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There’s very little in the substance of [THE LADY IN THE VAN] which is not fact though some adjustments have had to be made.
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We were put to Dickens as children but it never quite took. That unremitting humanity soon had me cheesed off.
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Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is diminished in proportion to that of space it would be quite possible for the whole story of Greece and Rome to be played out between farts.
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If I had to sum up my work, I suppose that’s it really: I’m taking the pith out of reality.
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
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The nearest my parents came to alcohol was at Holy Communion and they utterly overestimated its effects.
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Standards are always out of date. That’s what makes them standards.
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Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.
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Our perspective on the past alters. Looking back, immediately in front of us is dead ground.
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Life is generally something that happens elsewhere.
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I can walk. It’s just that I’m so rich I don’t need to.
ALAN BENNETT






