If money can’t buy happiness, then I guess I’ll have to rent it.
AL YANKOVICVelvet Elvis never puts on weight.
More Al Yankovic Quotes
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I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.
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The window doesn’t open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I haven’t been in a crowd like this since I went to see the Who.
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I write and write and write, and then I edit it down to the parts that I think are amusing, or that help the storyline, or I’ll write a notebook full of ideas of anecdotes or story points.
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There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can’t think of a clever enough idea.
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He died a long painful death. However, you’ll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.
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You still have Top 40 radio now, but it’s 40 different stations. There aren’t many hits that everybody knows, and there aren’t many real superstars.
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I’m always a little leery about doing shows where I’m not the headliner because when I first started playing in 1982 I opened for Missing Persons and got pelted for 45 minutes.
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Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You’ll have plenty of time to be low-key when you’re laid out on the slab.
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Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.
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I mean, I hate to gloat, but I’m extremely satisfied with my position in life and the way things have worked out for me.
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People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it’s more like having a gallbladder operation.
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I’m watching the charts every week and hoping something will pop into my head.
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Sometimes I get, “Have you ever thought about doing real music?” I like to think the music I do is real, it just happens to be funny.
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I think I’m equally as abusive as the editors normally are for the “Letters and Tomatoes” column, which is the fan mail part of MAD Magazine and an ongoing feature.
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Doing things that I don’t know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them.
AL YANKOVIC