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I’m stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.

Al Yankovic

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.
AL YANKOVIC

Bagel Face Pitchfork Remove Staple Wanna
I start with a comprehensive list of all the recent songs that have been big hits – and then I go down that list and see if I can come up with funny ideas for them. I can always come up with ideas, but not necessarily good ones!
AL YANKOVIC

Been Big Down Hit Idea List Recent Song
Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.
AL YANKOVIC

Big Chunk Dinner Dirt Every Night Reality
I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
AL YANKOVIC

Boot Esteem Good Grovel Hunk Low Nose Self Slime Worthless
I’ve done a movie and a TV series, and someday I’d like to do a successful movie and a successful TV series. That would be nice.
AL YANKOVIC

Movie Nice Series Successful Television Would
He died a long painful death. However, you’ll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.
AL YANKOVIC

Better Death Little Long Look Nerdy People Year
You fake something until you’re good at it.
AL YANKOVIC

Fake Good Something Until
I’m watching the charts every week and hoping something will pop into my head.
AL YANKOVIC

Chart Head Hope Pop Something Watch Week Will
It fit pretty nicely into my schedule because we’d pretty much finished the bulk of promotion for Mandatory Fun and were just getting geared up for the World Tour so this was a nice time for me to be working on it.
AL YANKOVIC

Bulk Finish Fit Mandatory Nicely Pretty Promotion Scheule
As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.
AL YANKOVIC

Able Dad Father Life Live Make Success
Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra, but they’re not afraid of wolves.
AL YANKOVIC

Afraid Algebra Animation Boy Flunking Like Lot Nuclear Thing Wolf
Whenever I do a parody it’s not meant to make you hate anybody’s music really.
AL YANKOVIC

Anybody Hate Make Music Parody Really
That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
AL YANKOVIC

Gateway Kid Lesbian Read Something Witchcraft
Didn’t have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.
AL YANKOVIC

Honesty Nintendo Pour Salt Snail
I’m always a little leery about doing shows where I’m not the headliner because when I first started playing in 1982 I opened for Missing Persons and got pelted for 45 minutes.
AL YANKOVIC

Always Decision Do Headline Leery Little Miss People Play Point Show Start
A lot of rap songs don’t usually have a lot of melody per se.
AL YANKOVIC

Melody Rap Song Usually

I’m stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.

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I’m stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.

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