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If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

Al Yankovic

He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.
AL YANKOVIC

Gay Inside Jock Paste Revenge Strap Tooth Tube
Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
AL YANKOVIC

Bottle Coke End Got Left Nestle Record Stuck Sun Tongue
I cut my teeth playing rock songs on the accordion when I was a teenager and my friends always thought that was extremely amusing.
AL YANKOVIC

Accordion Amuse Cut Extreme Paly Rock Song Teenage
I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.
AL YANKOVIC

Animal Bend Paper Shape Work
I’ve always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it!
AL YANKOVIC

Album Always Come Enjoy Guy People Record Script
In a genre where most of the artists are one-hit wonders, I’ve been able to hang around longer than most “serious” acts. I pride myself in being a very talented leech.
AL YANKOVIC

Around Artist Genre Hang Longer Most Serious Talent Wonder
I’m watching the charts every week and hoping something will pop into my head.
AL YANKOVIC

Chart Head Hope Pop Something Watch Week Will
I don’t watch anything on a regular basis – I tend to binge-watch things.
AL YANKOVIC

Anything Base Binge Regular Watch
I’ve done a movie and a TV series, and someday I’d like to do a successful movie and a successful TV series. That would be nice.
AL YANKOVIC

Movie Nice Series Successful Television Would
My personal taste doesn’t enter into it a lot when I make my decisions as to what to parody.
AL YANKOVIC

Book Decison Enetr Parody Personal Read
My process for the parodies is that I get an idea for a song and then get approval from the artist and then go in and record it and probably try to get it out as soon as possible.
AL YANKOVIC

Approval Artist Go Idea Parody Positive Process Record Song
So then why get upset if somebody like me Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?
AL YANKOVIC

Differently Kind Somebody Thing Tries Upset
As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.
AL YANKOVIC

Able Dad Father Life Live Make Success
That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
AL YANKOVIC

Gateway Kid Lesbian Read Something Witchcraft
I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.
AL YANKOVIC

Fright Ground Kitchen Light Love Pleasant Run Sound Squish
You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.
AL YANKOVIC

Block Kid Kids New Play Scholar Some

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

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If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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