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I was a huge fan of ‘Mad’ magazine when I was 11, 12, 13 years old. I’d scour used bookstores trying to find back issues, and I’d wait at the newsstand for a new issue to come out. My life revolved around it.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I’ll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I’ll go bowling.
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You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.
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I cut my teeth playing rock songs on the accordion when I was a teenager and my friends always thought that was extremely amusing.
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On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!
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My wife went off with Elvis.
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Pop culture’s gotten much more disposable.
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You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.
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I did have a child, and I was reading a lot of picture books to her, but at the same time writing a children’s book was something that I’d been wanting to do for many years, pretty much since the start of my career.
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Doing things that I don’t know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them.
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I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
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Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.
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As a kid, I certainly never thought I would get to spend my life doing something fun.
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As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.
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If money can’t buy happiness, then I guess I’ll have to rent it.
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That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
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