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I’m very analytical, I’m very precise. I mean, I don’t write for kids.

Al Yankovic

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.
AL YANKOVIC

Bagel Face Pitchfork Remove Staple Wanna
It’s hard to force creativity and humor.
AL YANKOVIC

Creativity Force Hard Humor
Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows.
AL YANKOVIC

Gross Hamburger Many Out Sick Something Year
I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.
AL YANKOVIC

Animal Bend Paper Shape Work
Whenever I do a parody it’s not meant to make you hate anybody’s music really.
AL YANKOVIC

Anybody Hate Make Music Parody Really
I did have a child, and I was reading a lot of picture books to her, but at the same time writing a children’s book was something that I’d been wanting to do for many years, pretty much since the start of my career.
AL YANKOVIC

Book Career Child Picture Pretty Raed Same Time Want Year
If I could find the right kind of property, get tied in with the right movie, I’d love to be involved, but I just find it hard to be motivated to do another screenplay right now.
AL YANKOVIC

Another Find Involve Just Kind Motivate Movie Property Right Screenplay Tie
In the ’80s, I was putting out an album virtually every year, I think mostly based on fear – that if I didn’t, people would soon forget about me.
AL YANKOVIC

Album Based Eighty Every Fear Forget Mostly People Put Think Virtual Year
I’m watching the charts every week and hoping something will pop into my head.
AL YANKOVIC

Chart Head Hope Pop Something Watch Week Will
That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
AL YANKOVIC

Gateway Kid Lesbian Read Something Witchcraft
People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it’s more like having a gallbladder operation.
AL YANKOVIC

Album Birth Give Operation People
There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can’t think of a clever enough idea.
AL YANKOVIC

Candidate Clever Enough Good Ostensibly Parody Song Think
It’s very much a “Weird Al” themed issue, so I’d like to think that there’s a lot of “Weird Al” flavor throughout but I think it’d be generous really to call me an editor.
AL YANKOVIC

Call Editor Generous Issue Think Throughout Weird
I like the guitar-driven music of Nirvana at its peak. At that point, I thought there was a lot of really exciting music coming out.
AL YANKOVIC

Coming Drive Excite Guitar Lot Music Nirvana Point
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don’t step on my blue suede shoes.
AL YANKOVIC

Choose Our Shoe Step Suede Underwear Want
Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I’d just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.
AL YANKOVIC

Another Better Chance Drawer Guy Movie Script

I’m very analytical, I’m very precise. I mean, I don’t write for kids.

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I’m very analytical, I’m very precise. I mean, I don’t write for kids.

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