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He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

Al Yankovic

I think I’m equally as abusive as the editors normally are for the “Letters and Tomatoes” column, which is the fan mail part of MAD Magazine and an ongoing feature.
AL YANKOVIC

Abusive Column Editor Equally Letter Mad Normal Ongoing Think Tomato
I don’t think there are any new media I’d like to cover.
AL YANKOVIC

Any Cover Media New Think
Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.
AL YANKOVIC

Buck Channel Midget Month Wres
My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.
AL YANKOVIC

Brother Children Hate Only Child Sister
I write and write and write, and then I edit it down to the parts that I think are amusing, or that help the storyline, or I’ll write a notebook full of ideas of anecdotes or story points.
AL YANKOVIC

Amuse Down Edit Help Notebook Part Storyline Think Write
It’s very much a “Weird Al” themed issue, so I’d like to think that there’s a lot of “Weird Al” flavor throughout but I think it’d be generous really to call me an editor.
AL YANKOVIC

Call Editor Generous Issue Think Throughout Weird
I’m still a geek on the inside, that’s the important thing.
AL YANKOVIC

Comedy Geek Important Inside Thing
There are probably a few library fines I haven’t paid yet, but I’m a pretty clean-cut guy overall.
AL YANKOVIC

Cut Fine Guy Library Overall Paid Pretty Probably
When I was a kid, I thought I was going to be an architect, because when I was 12 years old I had a guidance counselor that convinced me that that was the best career choice for me.
AL YANKOVIC

Architect Career Choice Counselor Go Guidance Kid Old Twelve Year
I try to pick songs that I actually like because I realize that I have to live with these songs for a long time, from when I’m working on them in the studio to possibly playing them onstage for the rest of my life.
AL YANKOVIC

Actual Life Long Onstage Pick Possible Realize Rest Song Studio Time Work
Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.
AL YANKOVIC

Along Anymore Chain Date Food Low Until Came
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don’t step on my blue suede shoes.
AL YANKOVIC

Choose Our Shoe Step Suede Underwear Want
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
AL YANKOVIC

Avoid Discuss Heat Paper Political Politics Religion Toilet
That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
AL YANKOVIC

Gateway Kid Lesbian Read Something Witchcraft
I start with a comprehensive list of all the recent songs that have been big hits – and then I go down that list and see if I can come up with funny ideas for them. I can always come up with ideas, but not necessarily good ones!
AL YANKOVIC

Been Big Down Hit Idea List Recent Song
Like, I have had moments, which I think most people have, where you’ll be watching TV, and it’ll be interrupted by some tragic event, and you’ll actually find yourself thinking,
AL YANKOVIC

Fin Yourself Interrupt Moment People Television Think Watch

He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

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He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

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