Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
AL YANKOVICHe put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.
More Al Yankovic Quotes
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You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don’t step on my blue suede shoes.
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Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.
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Sometimes I get, “Have you ever thought about doing real music?” I like to think the music I do is real, it just happens to be funny.
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I don’t watch a lot of other people’s parodies because I don’t want to be unduly influenced.
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There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can’t think of a clever enough idea.
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People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it’s more like having a gallbladder operation.
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I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.
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If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
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Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
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I try not to go the obvious route all the time, but sometimes the most obvious is actually the best.
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It was difficult to get into my friends’ rock bands when I was a teenager.
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A lot of rap songs don’t usually have a lot of melody per se.
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It becomes more important to me as time goes on to make every album the best thing I’ve ever done, so it’s a lot of self-imposed pressure that also kind of slows me down a bit.
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Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I’ll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I’ll go bowling.
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I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.
AL YANKOVIC