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He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

Al Yankovic

I decided that I wanted to be a voice on every animated cartoon in the history of the world – even shows that haven’t been on the air for a very long time, that’s going to be harder to pull off.
AL YANKOVIC

Animate Cartoon Decide History Long Show Time Voice Want Worlds
I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.
AL YANKOVIC

Abuduct Fair Kind Look Space
So then why get upset if somebody like me Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?
AL YANKOVIC

Differently Kind Somebody Thing Tries Upset
In a genre where most of the artists are one-hit wonders, I’ve been able to hang around longer than most “serious” acts. I pride myself in being a very talented leech.
AL YANKOVIC

Around Artist Genre Hang Longer Most Serious Talent Wonder
I think that was the genesis of my polka medleys, because every rock song I played on the accordion just sounded like a polka and my friends thought it was funny.
AL YANKOVIC

Friend Funny Genesis Medley Polka Rock Song Soun Think
I’ve learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.
AL YANKOVIC

Effectively Filter Learn Pretty Spam Use
I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it with the whole hockey team.
AL YANKOVIC

Esteem Hockey Little Lost Made Self Team
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don’t step on my blue suede shoes.
AL YANKOVIC

Choose Our Shoe Step Suede Underwear Want
I write and write and write, and then I edit it down to the parts that I think are amusing, or that help the storyline, or I’ll write a notebook full of ideas of anecdotes or story points.
AL YANKOVIC

Amuse Down Edit Help Notebook Part Storyline Think Write
Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.
AL YANKOVIC

Down Naked Picture Take
Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I’d just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.
AL YANKOVIC

Another Better Chance Drawer Guy Movie Script
When I swore that you’re getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.
AL YANKOVIC

Beautiful Everyday Honesty Kid More
So that’s why one of my rules of parody writing is that it’s gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.
AL YANKOVIC

Funny Gotta Know Material Merit Parody Regard Rule Source Write
Like, I have had moments, which I think most people have, where you’ll be watching TV, and it’ll be interrupted by some tragic event, and you’ll actually find yourself thinking,
AL YANKOVIC

Fin Yourself Interrupt Moment People Television Think Watch
And then I’ll try and arrange them in a way that they would tell a semi-cohesive story.
AL YANKOVIC

Arrange Cohesive Semi Story Try Way
I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.
AL YANKOVIC

Fright Ground Kitchen Light Love Pleasant Run Sound Squish

He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

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He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

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