And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, ‘Teacher, sue him.’
AL FRANKENI’m the New York Jew who actually grew up in Minnesota.
More Al Franken Quotes
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At ‘SNL,’ I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in ’95, I could let my own beliefs out.
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Good schools for me to prepare myself for a career, and, if I worked hard and played by the rules, a chance for me to do anything I wanted.
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My mom sold real estate and did it part time.
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Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.
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I think that the default for collecting any kind of personal data should be opt-in consent.
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I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.
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I know that it’s probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician.
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But in the right-wing media, they do have a right-wing bias. And they also have an agenda. So their agenda is: we’re an adjunct of the Republican Party, and we’re going push that agenda every day, and, as you say, brand these stories that help further the right-wing cause.
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The way I see it, I’m not going to Washington to be the 60th Democratic senator. I’m going to Washington to be the second senator from the state of Minnesota.
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Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.
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They’ve had local rightwing guys who’ve become national rightwing guys, and who build slowly, and that’s how it goes. We haven’t had that. It isn’t like we have a farm team.
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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
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The Medicare Part D prescription drug bill, which might be the most corrupt piece of legislation in history, was a huge giveaway of taxpayer funds to the big pharmaceutical companies.
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It’s hard to have that debate around secret programs authorized by secret legal opinions issued by a secret court. Actually, it’s impossible to have that debate.
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There are as many forms of advice as there are colors of the rainbow. Remember that good advice can come from bad people and bad advice from good people.
AL FRANKEN