But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.
AL FRANKENI’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.
More Al Franken Quotes
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The Minnesotans I talk to are really concerned about what the future holds for their families.
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I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.
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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
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As someone who’s spent time with our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan on USO tours and met wounded warriors at Walter Reed and Bethesda,
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If you hear, day after day, liberals are rooting against armed forces.
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The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I’ve had to learn a little bit about it. It’s not rocket science: You get ratings, that’s good.
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It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
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Armed with nothing more than a Facebook user’s phone number and home address.
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Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.
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The government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting Americans’ privacy.
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I get satisfaction when I write something I like, when I’m happy with it.
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I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.
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The Freedom of Information Act doesn’t apply to Silicon Valley. And you can’t impeach Google if it breaks its ‘Don’t be evil’ campaign pledge.
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He said we had enough to go three years without making money, and we had enough to go three weeks.
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The nature of the Internet and the importance of net neutrality is that innovation can come from everyone.
AL FRANKEN