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I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.

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Career Entire Satirist Spent

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I’m a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I’m invited to all the inaugural balls.
AL FRANKEN

Administration Ball Invite Perk
Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKEN

Masturbate Mistake Okay Today Want Written
Well, I think that there’s a value to comedy in and of itself.
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Comedy Itself Think Value Well
Sometimes if I tell people, ‘I’m afraid that I’m really a fraud,’ or ‘I have a lot of self-doubt,’ they go.
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Afraid Doubt Fraud Go Lot People Self Sometimes Tell
I’m angry at the right wing media. And by that I don’t mean the media is right wing.
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Angry Media Right Wing
If you use Facebook – as I do – Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd.
AL FRANKEN

Digital Face Facebook Fingerprint Life Likelihood Photo Unique Use
Antitrust law isn’t about protecting competing businesses from each other, it’s about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.
AL FRANKEN

Antitrust Business Compete Competition Each Other Law Protect
When the president during the campaign said he was against nation building,
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Against Building Campaign Comedy During Nation President
There is – I mean – I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.
AL FRANKEN

Coach Early Found Humor Indignation Little Mean Pulling Righteous Try
My dad was a terrible businessman.
AL FRANKEN

Businessman Dad Terrible
Rush Limbaugh is what I call a disinfotainer. He entertains by spreading disinformation.
AL FRANKEN

Call Disinformation Disinfotain Entertain People Spread
creates jobs all over the world, and makes life easier for millions of Americans.
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All Country Create Easier Job Life Make Million Over People World
Let’s keep the Internet weird. Let’s keep the Internet free.
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Free Internet Keep Let Weird
It was hard for him to project who he is, the person people know in private.
AL FRANKEN

Hard Him Know People Person Private Project
If you hear, day after day, liberals are rooting against armed forces.
AL FRANKEN

Arm Believe Day Force Liberal Root Soldier Troop
For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
AL FRANKEN

Appropriate Downright Funny Joke Offensive Some Thirty-five Understand Writer Wrote Year Years

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