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I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.

Al Franken

I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it’s a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us.
AL FRANKEN

Dry Kill Little might Much Person Problem Think Us Use
During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian.
AL FRANKEN

Career College Country Deferment Enjoy Military Student
The Fourth Amendment doesn’t apply to corporations.
AL FRANKEN

Amendment Apply Corporation Fourth
There’s going to have to be investigations, and an independent investigation, into the Trump campaign and the Trump administration’s relationship to Russia.
AL FRANKEN

Administration Campaign Country Independent Investigation Relationship
I think if you’re going to do a movie about Reagan, you do it about the fact that he created the huge deficit.
AL FRANKEN

Arm Country Create Deficit Fact Go Huge Movie People Reagan Think
Skepticism turns to cynicism, which leads to apathy and despair, which can cause sleeplessness, dry-mouth, and loss of sex drive?
AL FRANKEN

Apathy Cause Despair Drive Dry Lead Loss Mouth Sex Skepticism Sleeplessness Turn
I do have a self-censor; everybody does, or at least most who are not pathological do.
AL FRANKEN

Censor Do Doe Everybody Least Most Pathology Self
They’ve had local rightwing guys who’ve become national rightwing guys, and who build slowly, and that’s how it goes. We haven’t had that. It isn’t like we have a farm team.
AL FRANKEN

Build Farm Guy Like Local National Rightwing Slowly Team
Minnesota has a proud tradition of having two Senators on the Ag committee – a tradition I’d like very much to continue.
AL FRANKEN

Committee Have Minnesota Proud Senator Tradition Two
For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
AL FRANKEN

Appropriate Downright Funny Joke Offensive Some Thirty-five Understand Writer Wrote Year Years
When the president during the campaign said he was against nation building,
AL FRANKEN

Against Building Campaign Comedy During Nation President
Minnesotans lost their jobs because the credit rating agencies didn’t do the only job they’re supposed to have.
AL FRANKEN

Agency Credit Give Job Minnesotan Rating Suppose
Well, I think that there’s a value to comedy in and of itself.
AL FRANKEN

Comedy Itself Think Value Well
Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.
AL FRANKEN

Be Bob Fun Good Humor Kind Real Sense Use
That he armed the Mujahideen, that he armed Saddam, that he armed Iran, that he armed two-thirds of the Axis of Evil, and that he funded terrorists in Central America. He was, in my mind, a terrible president.
AL FRANKEN

Arm Axis Central Country Exil Fund Mind Terrible Terrorist
I grew up in Minnesota, where we treasure our tradition of civic engagement – and our record of having the nation’s highest voter participation.
AL FRANKEN

Civic Engagement Grew Highest Minnesota Nation Participation Record Records Tradition Treasure Voter

I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.

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I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.

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Popular Authors

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