Whining is anger through a small opening.
AL FRANKENToo many people don’t protect their smartphones with a password or PIN.
More Al Franken Quotes
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We don’t know how many Russian oligarchs have invested in his business.
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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
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Why don’t we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children, and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.
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And terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.
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My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.
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Most people would rather be uncertain some of the time than 100% positive all the time – even when they’re wrong.
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The civil rights movement was very important in my house, and then Vietnam was very important ’cause there were two boys, so I came of age during a very heated political climate.
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I’m sure I’ve devoted enough thought to Rush Limbaugh for one lifetime.
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The right wing has had a radio apparatus for years and years, so they’ve had minor leagues.
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I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.
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Being a comedian, you’re under pressure. You have to deal with stress and pressure to perform – to deal with pressure without stress.
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The Medicare Part D prescription drug bill, which might be the most corrupt piece of legislation in history, was a huge giveaway of taxpayer funds to the big pharmaceutical companies.
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I do have a self-censor; everybody does, or at least most who are not pathological do.
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There are as many forms of advice as there are colors of the rainbow. Remember that good advice can come from bad people and bad advice from good people.
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That’s bad news for everyone else – and for our democracy itself.
AL FRANKEN