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Net neutrality isn’t a government takeover of the Internet, as many of my Republican colleagues have alleged.

Al Franken

There’s plenty of room for humor in politics, God knows, but it’s a serious business.
AL FRANKEN

Business God Know Plenty Politics Room Serious
Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKEN

Masturbate Mistake Okay Today Want Written
And the agencies concluded that the Russians had a clear preference for President Trump.
AL FRANKEN

Agency Clear Conclude Country Preference President
To ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It’s – I think they might use too much oil in their hummus – but it’s the wrong question.
AL FRANKEN

Ask Bias Conservative Liberal Like Mainstream Much Oil Think Use
My mom sold real estate and did it part time.
AL FRANKEN

Did Estate Mom Part Real Sold Time
Being a comedian, you’re under pressure. You have to deal with stress and pressure to perform – to deal with pressure without stress.
AL FRANKEN

Comedian Deal Perform Pressure Stress Under
The point is that there is tremendous hypocrisy among the Christian right. And I think that Christian voters should start looking at global warming and extreme poverty as a religious issue that speaks to the culture of life.
AL FRANKEN

Among Christian Hypocrisy Point Religious Right Think Tremendous
Teen pregnancy went way down in the ’90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.
AL FRANKEN

Contraception Down Increase Pregnancy Use Way Went
Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something else and also make it sell.
AL FRANKEN

Demagoguery Else Mean On Put Radio Sell Something Station
I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.
AL FRANKEN

Aftre Bank Being Die Happen Heaven
The Fourth Amendment doesn’t apply to corporations.
AL FRANKEN

Amendment Apply Corporation Fourth
But when Americans lack the most basic information about our domestic surveillance programs, they have no way of knowing whether we’re getting that balance right. This lack of transparency is a big problem.
AL FRANKEN

Big Country Domestic Get Information Lack Problem Program Surveillance Transparency
This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw ‘The Killing Fields,’ and I’ve got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.
AL FRANKEN

Ago Felt Field Fundraiser Kill Learn Saw Schmuck Something Tell Well
Russia has a strategy of creating the conditions that give rise to corruption, then exploiting that corruption to its own benefit.
AL FRANKEN

Benefit Condition Corruption Create Exploit Give Own Strategy
I can assure you, this is not about spying on the American people.
AL FRANKEN

Assure Country Nsa People Spy
Asking the question whether the mainstream media has a liberal or conservative bias is like asking whether al Qaeda uses too much oil in their hummus.
AL FRANKEN

Asking Conservative Human Liberal Like Mainstream Media Much Oil Question Thinking Whether

Net neutrality isn’t a government takeover of the Internet, as many of my Republican colleagues have alleged.

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Net neutrality isn’t a government takeover of the Internet, as many of my Republican colleagues have alleged.

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