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During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian.

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Armed with nothing more than a Facebook user’s phone number and home address.
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Liberals like me love America. We just love America in a different way.
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I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.
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As a source of innovation, an engine of our economy, and a forum for our political discourse.
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There is – I mean – I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.
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Teen pregnancy went way down in the ’90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.
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I’m a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I’ll never stop.
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I couldn’t think of anything less appealing than molding the minds of tomorrow’s leaders.
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Most Americans don’t think about antitrust law when they look at their cable bill, flip channels on TV, or worry about what their favorite website knows about them. But they should.
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Why don’t we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children, and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.
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I ask the American people not to fall victim to disinformation. There are no death panels. The Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit.
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I think if you’re going to do a movie about Reagan, you do it about the fact that he created the huge deficit.
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The nature of the Internet and the importance of net neutrality is that innovation can come from everyone.
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Skepticism turns to cynicism, which leads to apathy and despair, which can cause sleeplessness, dry-mouth, and loss of sex drive?
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I had a great time working on the movies, both the major movies I’ve done.
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If I put myself on the ballot and even 50 people voted for me, it’d be a travesty.
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