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During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian.

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You know, Lincoln was funny. I don’t think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you’re funny.
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And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, ‘Teacher, sue him.’
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There’s an appeal to the American sense of exceptionalism, that we’re morally superior, as way to not be self-critical. I think that’s a bit dangerous.
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The biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal.
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Russia has a strategy of creating the conditions that give rise to corruption, then exploiting that corruption to its own benefit.
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I’m angry at the right wing media. And by that I don’t mean the media is right wing.
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We don’t know how many Russian oligarchs have invested in his business.
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They talked about unreasonable searches and seizures, about keeping the government out of their bedrooms.
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The reason I wrote political satire was because I thought it – politics – was important… that public policy was important. Then I transitioned into books, then into radio.
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If 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I’ve got a problem, I should take their advice.
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Whining is anger through a small opening.
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There’s plenty of room for humor in politics, God knows, but it’s a serious business.
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People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.
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That’s bad news for everyone else – and for our democracy itself.
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I believe in not attacking a country pre-emptively unless you’re sure of what you’re doing and you’re working with allies.
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Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.
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