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But I love stand-up, and it’s where I came from creatively, so it’s something I never want to walk away from.

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Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
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No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.
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When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
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“You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures.”
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Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
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But I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
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I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.
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Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
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I love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
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TV always wants more people to be watching.
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Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
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I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.
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When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
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So everything is all the same job in my eyes, and I don’t want to ever give up any part of it.
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I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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