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I’m just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can.

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Being Best Find Funny Going People Possibly Version

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
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Glamorous Stand Tell Up
Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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Accomplishment Passionate Require Running Sorry Success Wall Work
Successful people just don’t let failure define them or keep them from doing what they want to do. For example, I’d have people come up to me after my shows, and they’d say they want to do stand-up but are scared they’re going to fail. I’d tell them,
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Define Doing Example Failure Keep People Scare Show Fall Successful Want
I think diversity in television is important. It’s not about trying to fill a quota or satisfy some idea of diversity.
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Diversity Fill Idea Important Opportunity Quita Satisfy Some Television Thinking Trying
I’ve always been a gamer, and I had a period where I was gaming at a really hardcore level.
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Always Game Gamer Hardcore Level Period
After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.’
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Based Doctors Going Happen Look Procedure Spending Thinking
Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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Ability Ass Disappointment Feet Floor Real Sacrifice Scrape Sorry Stumble
Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
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Complain Going Smart Think Typecast
Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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Bad Culture Great Pop Time
So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
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Doing Funny Life Live Minute Much Quick Radio Sou Spot Stand Stranger Surgical Three
All these young books for women are like I’m 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can’t get a date. Come on.
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All Book Closet Come Date Like Prada Shoe Women Young
I really do know football.
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Do Football Know Really
I’m the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.
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Friend Hope Kindest Little Own Probably Supportive
I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
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Amusement Brush Childhood Life Luckily Moment Other Painful Torture Wrenching
It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon.
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Apparently Day Desk Drink Fluorescent Frown Generally Hard Last Lighting Upon
I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
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Close Company Different Girlfriend Guy Love Men Most Way

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