No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.
AISHA TYLERMaybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.
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Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
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Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
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Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
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I love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
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I’m black, and black don’t crack. It does droop.
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I have one girlfriend who is dating right now – she’s divorced – and she’s on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that’s not a real game, but it’s my favorite thing to do.
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A belief in feminism is a belief in personal freedom.
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I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.
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I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.
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