The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
ADAM FERRARAOh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
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I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
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You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’
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Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘
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The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
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I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
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The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
ADAM FERRARA