What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
ADAM FERRARAI think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
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I woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
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Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’
ADAM FERRARA