Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
ADAM FERRARAI sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
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The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
ADAM FERRARA -
Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
ADAM FERRARA -
I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
ADAM FERRARA -
You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARA -
You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
ADAM FERRARA -
My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
ADAM FERRARA -
There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
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I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARA