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If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.

Adam Ferrara

I love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.
ADAM FERRARA

Believe Different Distance God Long Question Religious
My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
ADAM FERRARA

Car Dad Guy Money Spend Trust Vehicle Wanted Working
I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARA

Every Funny Hour Humor Like Magazine Man Three
I love my girlfriend, don’t get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It’s a gift.
ADAM FERRARA

Ability Emotional Environment Funny Gift Girlfriend Love Sex Truly Woman Wrong
The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Length Marriage Observed Parent Time Year
My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARA

Bedroom Big Daddy Huge Man Pop Running
I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
ADAM FERRARA

Bathroom Funny Humor. Trying Make Nice Night Now Thing Use
I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
ADAM FERRARA

Arrogance Civilization Demise Human Thinking
I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Humor Meet Mial Order Perfect Think Thinking Woman
Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Happiness Happy Humor Important Ladies Touch
You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
ADAM FERRARA

Away Country List Mailing Month People Relative Thing Wife
The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
ADAM FERRARA

Born Change Constant Decay Fall Funny Humor Minute State
Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
ADAM FERRARA

Ask Day Friend Funny Girl Humor Life Man One Relationship Time
One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
ADAM FERRARA

Day Figure Funny Hobby Humor Life Man Shower Special
I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
ADAM FERRARA

Ability Car Father Job Light Mechanical Pretty Used Work
I woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
ADAM FERRARA

Bed Boogie Funny Hurt Man Middle Night Pop Running Under

If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.

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Popular Authors

If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Adam Ferrara Quotes