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It’s true, some wine improves with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.

Abigail Van Buren

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The less you talk, the more you’re listened to.
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Accept every blind date you can get, even with a girl who wears jeans. Maybe you can talk her out of them.
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Kids grow up awfully fast these days,”she said. “You should try to have a good relationship with your kids, no matter what they do.
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Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you’re supervised or not; finish a job once it’s started; carry money without spending it; and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
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In Biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford. Just like today.
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If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.
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I can’t think of a more potent combination than God and a good lawyer.
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If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.
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A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.
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If you want a place in the sun, you have got to put up with a few blisters.
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Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to “prove their love” like a moose needs a hat rack.
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There is no end to the undeserved misery and mischief it could create.
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Fear less, hope more. Eat less, chew more. Talk less, say more. Hate less, love more.
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The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.
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Loneliness is the ultimate poverty.
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