“The less you talk, the more you’re listened to.”

The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.

Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you’re supervised or not; finish a job once it’s started; carry money without spending it; and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.

Believing that the dream of freedom, brotherhood, and peace for all mankind will someday come true.

Accept every blind date you can get, even with a girl who wears jeans. Maybe you can talk her out of them.

Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you’ve got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.

If you want a place in the sun, you have got to put up with a few blisters.

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we’d all be millionaires.

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.

I agree that marijuana laws are overdue for an overhaul. I also favor the medical use of marijuana – if it’s prescribed by a physician.

You are what you are when nobody is looking.

If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.

Some People are more turned on by money than they are by love. In one respect they’re alike. They’re both wonderful as long as they last.

Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.

In Biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford. Just like today.

Cruel words erode the self-esteem like the ocean eats away the shore.

Few things are less comforting than a tiger who’s up too late.

No sport is less organized than Calvinball.

A people made morbidly obese in mind and spirit by the junk food of propaganda is less inclined to put up a fight, ask questions and be skeptical. And just as a democracy can die of too many lies, that kind of orthodoxy can kill us, too.

I suppose that’s a lot to do with our current climate and financial messes. I certainly see that people seem to have to work harder with a lot less time.

I more or less shared the view that life should be lived.

Never let the world define you as less than Great.

I shaved a lot off of a lot that I saw in that I like to be less is more and make everything count and not give anyone anything extra. I was what you see is what you got. It was organic. I came up with the persona. The persona is me, coupled together with a lot of my interests.

Live a life less ordinary.