“History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind.”

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?

Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.

I’ve only had four ideas for a novel in my life, and I’ve written all of them.

I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.

The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.

There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

The villains will come along. There were plenty in the Carter administration, and there will be plenty with Reagan.

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.

There is no disappointment so numbing as someone no better than you achieving more.

Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.

She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.

I wouldn’t want to live without strong misgivings.

Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.

You never see a normal spot, a bag under the eye or an unplucked eyebrow, because that’s not how Hollywood works.

I’m a bit of a gypsy. I live everywhere; I live out of a bag.

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag.

I’m an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I’m a relation to Frankenstein’s creation.

It is my fondest wish that in the fullness of time, the American people will look back on the Franken presidency as something of a mixed bag and not as a complete disaster.

I bet they didn’t tell you that was in the gift bag.

I fight, knock them out, have some sex and Monday I’m back to hitting bags and kicking ass.

A structured bag, statement jewelry or a cute scarf can add polish to any outfit!