When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
DICK GREGORYPolitical promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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Home was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
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I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
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You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
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I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
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My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn’t a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
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I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
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Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
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Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
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And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
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In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago, it’s a sport.
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One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.
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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
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In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don’t know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
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You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
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There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.
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No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That’s already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.
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To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
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I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
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I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp – just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.
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The only good thing about the good old days is they’re gone.
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When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
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I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
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There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
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They told me there was very little racial prejudice in Hawaii. Like a woman is just a little bit pregnant.
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It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
DICK GREGORY