When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
JOSEPH HELLERAll of my books deal in a very rough, rude fashion with subjects about which there are great conflicts of opinion.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
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The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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I wouldn’t want to live without strong misgivings.
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For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s expensive.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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You’re an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I’m an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I’m in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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Rise above principal and do what’s right.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
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You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
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They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
JOSEPH HELLER






