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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Dick Gregory

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
DICK GREGORY

Attachment Deep Loss Rich
It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
DICK GREGORY

Black Dance Law Sing Talk Writing
There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
DICK GREGORY

Force God Live Willing Yourself
When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
DICK GREGORY

Existence Foot Myself Woman
Revolution ain’t nothing but an extent of evolution; Evolution is a fact of nature.
DICK GREGORY

Nature Revolution
Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
DICK GREGORY

Breathe Night Wonderful Yourself
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY

Beginning Forget Marriage Politics Promise Relationship
If democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.
DICK GREGORY

Democracy Goodness
You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
DICK GREGORY

Attitude Money Need Yourself
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
DICK GREGORY

Alcohol Control Yourself
I never thought I’d see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we were in Mississippi.
DICK GREGORY

Black Myself People Right Scare See
People with high blood pressure, diabetes – those are conditions brought about by lifestyle. If you change the lifestyle, those conditions will leave.
DICK GREGORY

Change Health Life People
Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
DICK GREGORY

Eat Food Myself Oppression People Right Time
Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
DICK GREGORY

Doctor Race Sick Understand Yourself
They told me there was very little racial prejudice in Hawaii. Like a woman is just a little bit pregnant.
DICK GREGORY

Myself Pregnant Woman
To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
DICK GREGORY

Music Myself Poet

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

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