Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
DICK GREGORYYou hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
DICK GREGORY -
We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
DICK GREGORY -
When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
DICK GREGORY -
There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
DICK GREGORY -
My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn’t a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
DICK GREGORY -
Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
DICK GREGORY -
I personally would say that the quickest way to wipe out a group of people is to put them on a soul food diet.
DICK GREGORY -
Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
DICK GREGORY -
They told me there was very little racial prejudice in Hawaii. Like a woman is just a little bit pregnant.
DICK GREGORY -
Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
DICK GREGORY -
I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
DICK GREGORY -
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORY -
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
DICK GREGORY -
I used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
DICK GREGORY -
I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY







