The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
BO BURNHAMI thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.
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I’m interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they’re scary, and they’re important to think about.
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I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
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How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
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I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
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I know it’s the comedian’s instinct to say, “Do it, man, nothing’s off-limits! It’s cool, bro!” I don’t know if that’s the answer for me.
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Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
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The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
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What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
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There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?
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If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
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I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
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Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
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I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
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If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
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“Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?” I don’t worship comedy; at the end of the day I don’t fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
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For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
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