Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
BO BURNHAMI met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.
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I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
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I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
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People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
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Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
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My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition.
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I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
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At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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