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I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.

Bill Hicks

The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Roles Starts Waiting
While I’ve found many of the religious shows I’ve viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I’ve never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet – turning off the TV completely.
BILL HICKS

Freedom Religious Speech Years
There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue – those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS – but they remain strangely silent.
BILL HICKS

Gun Issues Silent Views
At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.
BILL HICKS

Block Eternal Kids Least Out Rocking
You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
BILL HICKS

Book Phones Political
Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you’ve chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You’re dead too.
BILL HICKS

Enjoy Eternal Evening Fantasy Reality
As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
BILL HICKS

Long People Responsibility
I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin’ [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] ‘good evening everybody, remember me, smoking’s bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww.
BILL HICKS

Mechanical Smoking Thinking Years
I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.
BILL HICKS

Bullshit Humanity Shoes Tired
A Christian will say… “I believe God created me in one day” Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.
BILL HICKS

Believe Christian Day One
I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Sorry
STRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.
BILL HICKS

After Know Stratford Sucks Suppose
We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
BILL HICKS

Drugs Mean War Winning
I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
BILL HICKS

Light Middlemen Mind Source
Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.
BILL HICKS

Drug Funny Humor
Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
BILL HICKS

Dream Funny Ideas Revolutionary

I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.

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I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.

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Popular Authors

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