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It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.

Bob Saget

There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
BOB SAGET

Country People Two Wii
I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
BOB SAGET

Censor Sick World
Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGET

Arguing People Truth
My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGET

Anesthesia Given Havens
At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
BOB SAGET

Day End Over Time
I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
BOB SAGET

Doorways May Stressed Unflattered
Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
BOB SAGET

Day Good Reading Sunday
I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
BOB SAGET

Boys Car Country Years
No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET

Bus Driver Drivers
My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
BOB SAGET

Mom Thinking Today Told
They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
BOB SAGET

Closer Enemies Say
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
BOB SAGET

Dirty Jobs Night
Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGET

Except Nobody People
My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
BOB SAGET

Dad Escape Humor Kind Study Stuff
Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
BOB SAGET

Alcoholics Horrible Used
Everyone I love I pay.
BOB SAGET

Everyone Love Pay

It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.

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It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.

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