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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

Bo Burnham

I don’t want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I’m just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
BO BURNHAM

Kids Singing Song
When life gets you down, make a comforter!
BO BURNHAM

Comforter Funny Humor
Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
BO BURNHAM

Bitches Country Feminist Hoe Knows People
The biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That’s an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes.
BO BURNHAM

Strong Struggle Thinking
I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
BO BURNHAM

Bullets Car Newspaper
I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Girlfriend Uncle
I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Belief Funny Humor
The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
BO BURNHAM

Eras Golden Thinking
If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
BO BURNHAM

Laughing Thinking Worst Time
Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
BO BURNHAM

Anything Book Good Pussy
The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
BO BURNHAM

Anyone Otherwise Smooth Talker Tell
I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
BO BURNHAM

Cereal Men Remember Thinking
I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
BO BURNHAM

Love Perfect Trying You
Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
BO BURNHAM

Cancer Funny Humor
For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
BO BURNHAM

Fifteen Funny Humor
Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,
BO BURNHAM

Brain Challenges Emotional

And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

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Popular Authors

More Bo Burnham Quotes