You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
BOB SAGETPaul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
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In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
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I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.
BOB SAGET -
I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
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Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
BOB SAGET -
It’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
BOB SAGET -
Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
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My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
BOB SAGET -
A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
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Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
BOB SAGET -
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET







