“Fame is like a big eraser. It’s strange, now that I’m famous. In my parents’ opinion, all the shitty things – all the wreckage of my past – is erased.”

I can smell parents’ stomach acid right now, but they know that whole “You gotta get a job and you gotta settle for what people perceive as success” thing is really absurd.

If you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off.

We don’t really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows.”

Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird.

I’m against gun control. It’s not that I like guns, it’s just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other’s heads off.

When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn’t get a job and I couldn’t eat meat.

How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that’s who I am.

Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.

They never were given a chance to give their respects to the death of the guy they loved back in ’84.

Theres so much beautiful music in the world, and the kids are getting robbed.

You heard about, through word of mouth, Big Bird is out, he’s in the house. He’s turnin’ up, with Snuffleup, They’re really gettin’ their hustle up.

I don’t want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I’m just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.

Men who are not given any voice in this because of the secret nature of the courts, what they’re left with is dressing up ridiculously, but at least using humour to try and draw attention to their kids

At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.

I was very healthy from a young age. I was always known as the healthy kid in my group of friends. My mom had us drink barley-grass powder, and I’ve taken vitamins and fish oil and multivitamins since I was a kid.

There’s only a couple times when fame is ever helpful. Sometimes you can get into a restaurant where the kitchen is just closing.

I never fully committed to the child actor thing. I also liked being a regular kid and being a student.