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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

Bo Burnham

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
BO BURNHAM

Ideas Thinking Writing
I’m bored way too easily. I’m staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
BO BURNHAM

Bored Half Needs Overstimulated Scene
What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
BO BURNHAM

Internet Kings Pirate Song Try
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
BO BURNHAM

Average Person Tube
People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
BO BURNHAM

Geneticist Giving People Real
I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
BO BURNHAM

Deer Necks Saws
When life gets you down, make a comforter!
BO BURNHAM

Comforter Funny Humor
I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
BO BURNHAM

Close College Comedy Going
Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
BO BURNHAM

Cancer Funny Humor
I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.
BO BURNHAM

Speak Thinking Want
$Bo Burnham Quote - I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.$

I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
BO BURNHAM

Ability Math Music People Pretty
Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Funny Humor Women
There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?
BO BURNHAM

Country Funny Humor Long Met People
I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
BO BURNHAM

Designer Funny Humor Love You
Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
BO BURNHAM

Bible Jesus Kindness

Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

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