Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
BILL HICKSSee we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you’ve got the money!
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
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Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that’s their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm… Sounds like… every commercial on television, doesn’t it?
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I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
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Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
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Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
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I don’t know what you all believe, and I don’t really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?
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All day long you see those commercials: ‘Here’s Your Brain, Just Say No’…and the next commercial is: ‘This Bud’s For You.’
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All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.
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You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States…23,000 deaths from handguns. But – there’s no connection.
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I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
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While I’ve found many of the religious shows I’ve viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I’ve never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet – turning off the TV completely.
BILL HICKS