My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
BOB SAGETIt was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
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The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
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When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
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Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?
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That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.
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Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
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I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
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I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
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I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
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I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
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Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
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Everyone I love I pay.
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My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
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At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
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I have no agenda, nothing to control.
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I will always prefer a hardback book, but I’m drawn to digital because it’s so easy to acquire them when I’m having a need-to-read moment.
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I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
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The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
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Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET