“Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.”

I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.

It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world’s problems?

MOMMMM, I’m thirsty… What’s this, just water?

You ever think about this? Every year you live, you pass the anniversary of your death. Now you don’t know what day it is, of course.

You know, a lot of people feel that sobriety is about just stopping using whatever it was that you appeared to be addicted to, but it really has to do with a way of looking at your life and taking accountability.

I liked things better when I didn’t understand them.

If your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.

You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.

Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God? Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!

In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.

I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life…procrastinating and rationalizing.

The whole idea of hobknobbing and schmoozing and the concept of an “elite” class of celebrities better than the common people has always made my stomach turn.

Having an enviable career is one thing. Being a happy person is another

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone. -Hobbes

Almost the only persons who may be said to comprehend even approximately the significance, principles, and purposes of Socialism are the chief leaders of the extreme wings of the Socialistic forces, and perhaps a few of the money kings themselves.

For ‘King Cole’s American Salvage,’ I rode around in the wrecker with a local driver and watched him deal with customers and hook up the cars.

What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.

I will tell you King’s First Law of Recognition: You never get it when you want it, and then when it comes, you get too much.

In my office in Jerusalem, there’s an ancient seal. It’s a signet ring of a Jewish official from the time of the Bible.

When we pursue kingdom principles above His presence, we are looking for the kingdom without a king.

The source of inward happiness which shall outlast the earth– To them e’en kings should yield the palm, and own their higher worth.