“I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now.”

Where are all the sour patch parents?

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.

I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.

If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.

When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.

I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.

There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?

Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.

I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.

Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,

I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.

People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.

I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.

Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.

The things that stress me out haven’t changed. But I don’t wanna lose anything. So I thought that at least I would change. I’m lucky…that I’m afraid of losing something.

It really moved the dial politically. That’s what is needed in the women’s movement – a strategy that can drive awareness and culture change.

Being such a tomboy growing up, that was one thing that changed me as a person, as well. It broadened me, like me cracking myself open in a certain way.

I’m 90 years old now, and my motivation hasn’t changed; it’s the same fervour that drives me.

I think the digital cameras have changed my view. Even though sometimes, including the installations that I show, I mix 35mm filming and video handmade.

If your religion has not changed your life, youd better change your religion.

My understanding of busy has certainly changed! My daughters have had an incredible impact on my life and the way I live it.

The game of business used to be like football: size mattered. Then it changed to basketball: speed and agility.