Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
BILLY CONNOLLYSometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There’s one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
If you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
didn’t even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
BILLY CONNOLLY







