Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
BILL HICKSI don’t know what you all believe, and I don’t really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin’ mouth.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
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I’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
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Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
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The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are
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It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
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It’s not a war on drugs, it’s a war on personal freedom.
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And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, “This is my creation, perfect in every way… oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they’ll think I want them to smoke it… Now I have to create Republicans.”
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I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
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I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It’s no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
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Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
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We really are All One….this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years.
BILL HICKS